Intervention

Dear Body,
You have been acting extremely strange the last few months. You've been going around acting like something you're not. I think it's time that somebody told you just how ridiculous this behavior is. Seeing how we're so close, I think I should be the one to do it. You are NOT pregnant anymore!! There I said it--are you paying attention. There is nothing in there, so please return to normal. I have a closet full of clothes that are longing to reconnect with you. I think it must be somewhat my fault because I did tell Case months ago that I might as well hurry and have another. I have also been spoiling you with the comfiest of jammies and sweatshirts. But enough is enough! It's time to let go....please let go--please. You are not pregnant and you will not be for quite some time, so please can't we just go back to the way things were?
Sincerely,
Me